#15

As this semester comes to an end I've reflected back on what i;ve learned and achieved. I've learned a lot more more about analyzing text and understanding a deeper meaning. That was one of my goals I wanted to achieve and I wanted to be able to incorporate that into my writing. I still haven't gotten transitioning down or writing the perfect intro/conclusion so i plan to keep working on that. I will always need to keep developing as a writer but for know i need to learn to keep my papers focused more and relate everything back to my thesis.

#14

     The essay that i plan to revise is my ad analysis essay. My strengths were my attention to detail when analyzing in the paper and my evidence given. My weaknesses though were my somewhat weak thesis and forgetting some important things in the ad.
     To revise my essay I will start with making a stronger claim for my thesis. Doing this can help me focus on making stronger points and relate back to the thesis more with analysis. I will also make sure to look over the ad again to see what I missed that I can add to my paper. The more details and information i give, the easier it is for the audience to picture what I am talking about.
     I am also going to revise my introduction and conclusion. those are always my weaknesses. Having a better introduction and conclusion will help me keep my paper focused more. It will also engage the reader more.

#13

    The assignment that was my favorite and the one I will most likely revise would be the ad analysis. I really enjoyed this assignment because we were allowed to pick the ad we wanted. Being able to choose our own ad allowed us to pick something we were interested in and allowed us to challenge ourselves. I chose a vintage ad because I found there was alot to talk about and analyze. I find older ads lack discretion most of the time. With all the knowledge we have now it's easy to identify all the false claims that were made. Those ads would never work in present times.
    I enjoyed the process of writing the paper because it pushed me to expand my ideas further than i normally would. It also makes you try to find meaning in the most minor details that you never would have noticed before. However there were things I did lack expanding on. I forgot details about pictures and didn't always analyze the text as well as I could have. I want to rewrite this and get the A that I was so close to having.

#12

My thesis for my argument is sex education should be mandatory in schools starting from middle school or junior high.My most compelling evidence is whether plenty of teenagers and young adults know all the facts about sex there is still a high chance they will have sex anyways. It is important for them to know the facts about sex, STD's, pregnancy, and contraception so they can make a safe and informed decision. This evidence is strong because many people know the more information and knowledge you have about anything allows you the chance to make better decisions. Others may disagree and think that if they start learning about it they will start doing it. There really is no evidence to back up that claim what so ever. It is also better they hear the facts and truths from a safe educational environment as opposed to friends and random things they find off the internet. I don;t think having to argue the counter argument should be difficult. I think along the way I may find better evidence than what i have now. I also think I'll start my essay off with this because it dives right into the issue.

Assignment 11

From reading the "$78 million dollar bag" I learned more of what not to do when writing an argument. i found this essay had alot more flaws than anything really helpful to me. One thing I noticed from the essay that stood out was the attempt to try and connect with the reader. They tried to establish a personal comical feel by saying" ...you probably did it last night". I think this is off putting to the reader because they are assuming that everyone does it. This article though is written more for the skeptical reader. so their attempt wasn't very good and instead pushes the reader away in a sense. I realize when I'm trying to establish a connection I need to consider who my audience is and how they will take it. The next thing I noticed that didn't work was their attempt to try and over simplify the whole idea of why we pay so much for marijuana misdemeanor charges. "...all this for some black guys smoking reefer" I'm paraphrasing, but the statement though was racist and threw any sort of professionalism they had out the window. I knew before and know now that when your writing never say something that can make your audience hate you and sound untrustworthy.  I also thought they should have cited their sources better. It makes the audience less skeptical when you have information coming from a reliable source rather than just pulling them from thin air. I know that if I;m ever going to make some sort of claim I will back it up with reliable evidence.

#10

I've found both ways we've done peer review has been helpful. Working with one person is effective in being really thorough for the person I am working with and for myself. I put more time and effort into it since there is only one person to help. The group review is also effective because this time you have multiple opinions and critiques compared to one. I think it's helpful to have a variety of ideas compared to one. However it's not as thorough as the single peer review and is easy to get off track. Both ways work well but i prefer group review.

    One of my strengths as a peer reviewer is honesty. I try to give my real opinion and criticism without sugar coating it too much. I notice some people are afraid to say anything other than "it was good" because that isn't helping the person you are working with. I think it also helps people see things from other perspectives a lot more . I think I;m also helpful with getting someone to have more focus and structure in their paper. Which is odd because that's a problem I have with my own. My weaknesses though are noticing grammatical errors and helping others with good beginnings and endings. Generally I have no idea where to begin or end my papers so it transfers and shows in my peer review.

    My ideal peer review would being able to choose a group which I believe is strong and would actually be helpful to my writing. It would also be in a group so I can have more feedback and ideas. I would also like to spend two classes on peer reviewing so it would be thorough enough.

assignment #9

My first pattern of error tends to be my lack of explanation. I've realized this because most of the comments on my papers are "expand" or "explain more. Sometimes I forget that the reader may not know much of what I;m talking about or have any background information. I also just don;t know how to further expand and develop my ideas because I don;t have much of a second opinion besides peer review. I think by getting a couple opinions of people who don;t have much knowledge about what I;m writing can help my writing.
 My second problem is concluding my papers. I have horrible time wrapping up a paper with a strong ending rather than just summarizing what i wrote. I'm not sure what it is because i can write well for the main body of my paragraph but it's liek pulling teeth to end it. I think i over think what to write and it throws me off. I also think another opinion would be helpful to my writing and help me understand what would make it stronger.
My final pattern of error would be developing my idea, I don;t take the time to jot down my ideas and help em sort out my thoughts. I just start and go from there. It either ends up good or bad. If I took a couple days to really put my thoughts together my papers would probably be better.